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Hello reader or fellow blogger, WELCOME! I am happy to see you on my blog: Exploring & Examining Life. This is a blog with philosophical and poetic posts. Join me on my journey of contemplation and self-discovery.

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

My Experience with the Medicine Man


The driver Vanderlei (this is a first name here) and I drive up to a home 12 km outside the city of Aimorés. It’s the very well known and well-respected Bryce: the medicine man.

First I see a man in very dirty clothes, and I wonder if this is “our guy.” Earlier this week I heard he had given the advice to put some substance on my ankle and then use an iron. Alright, so I’m a tad bit nervous, just a tad. But I trust this community and all the people that recommend him without a doubt. We get out of the car and Vanderlei walks up to the man; therefore, I do too and shake his hand. Okay, this is Bryce. But eh, either he has a lot of calluses on his hand, or chunks of dirt.


We have to wait a little bit because Bryce is feeding their animals. A bucket passes me by with a strange colored mixture of things, probably corn and milk, etc. but it looks like throw-up. The pig is happy though. I see various chickens, a dog sun bathing, and two skitter cats that look at me like “what the hell woman.” They’re a bit skinny. It smells like animals, but it doesn’t bother me. I grew up with chickens, horses, and goats. Love ‘m J At the front there’s a horse on a rope, tied to the tree, and she’s “hooked up” to the carriage. Definitely a working horse. I have no idea what kind of work these people normally do… Hey, there’s his wife, she’s very clean. Oh my, why is that the first thing I notice. I guess I’ve lived in the US long enough to having become very accustomed to all the sterile all the time and everywhere.

I just hope that I’m getting a clean treatment… But I don’t even know what this treatment will entail. Oh my, a medicine man, an iron, and now: there’s the cat. He/she just caught a mouse and lays it in front of him/her. We had cats growing up, but they would catch ‘m, kill ‘m, and then leave ‘m alone. It’d be a present for us, meaning: I love you. Naaaah buddy, not this one. The cat starts chewing on it. And eating it. There’s blood. And he looks at me, again with that look “what the hell do you want woman. This is my mouse! Leave me alone.” Okay okay, but in the meantime I’m taking some pictures of ya, please proceed devouring your bloody mouse, Mr. Cat.


Still slightly nervous, but so glad that Vanderlei is here, and even happier that my level of Portuguese is so that I understand the conversations. Makes me feel less estranged. Graças a Deus! And then, Bryce is ready. We are escorted to the veranda. His wife invites me to sit on a bench. Then Bryce walks over and he holds paperwork, two metals sticks (yikes!), and a book. He invites us to prayer. There I stand with three sweet Brazilians. I realize this is the beginning of my consultation session. They’re praying to God for the consultation to go well. I’m just hoping I’m not going to get burned by an iron. But, this is a very special moment though.

After prayer, Bryce’s wife rubs his hands, like an energy massage. He then asks me to stand in front of him. It’s kind of an interesting picture (I wanted to take one so badly, but wanted to respect the situation and just remember so that I could write about it). Per illustration: Vanderlei sits very relaxed on the edge of the porch (he’s gone through this before), I stand on the veranda as I smell the animals and see the horse tied to the tree. Bryce stands before me with his right hand in his wife’s hands behind him whom continues the energy massage. Then he pulls out the metal stick… For a second, I kid you not, I think that he’s going to pierce my chest. But then, he touches my body in different places, and I’m thinking that’s how the energy is transferred, so he can “read” what’s “wrong” with me energetically. I look to the book and it says: “bio-energetico.” (Remember remember remember that word, Lieneke, is what I’m thinking, so I can look it up.) Here’s the definition: “bio-energetics is the study of the flow and the transformations of energy that occur in living organisms.”

He opens the book and there are different segments that I have to put my left hand on, and sometimes just my index finger. Through the energy he’s testing which physical ailments I have. Well, I came to solve my ankle problem. But knowing that everything happens for a reason, I’m definitely curious to find out what he experiences. Bryce asks me, so you have headaches? Eh yeah, every day, especially when I get up. He writes down notes. Then he tells me, you have little gall stones, ten of ‘m. He writes again. Then he leaves. The wife asks me to sit.

As I sit there, I see the mountains and the hills, the red dirt, a car coming by, Vanderlei still sitting as relaxed as ever, and the wife still standing. I look to my diagonal right and see that the horse has a huge erection. Oh my god, it goes up and down… Nobody cares.

Bryce returns with paper bags that contain dried leaves. He takes a leave of each bag. We go bag to our “assembly line” of three and Bryce asks to open my left hand, and to close it. I guess he needs to test if this is the right combination of leaves for me to heal me from my gallstones. He writes again.

I ask him also about my back pain and ankle and if he found out anything. I asks me to take a step down the veranda (he’s kind of short), and to put my arms around my back. He grabs my hands and pops my back. Regarding the ankle, I need to wrap it in clay, so that the clay can reduce the liquid in the ligaments. Also, to reduce my head aches, I need to mix the clay and massage my hair with it and put it on top of my head. I need to use the clay for five days, for two hours each day. And so I did, I had clay on my head today, for two hours. 


Tuesday, October 9, 2012

SPOKEN WORD by a Control Freak


When I’m alone
I think
I breathe
I think
I feel
I love
I think
I judge
            Myself
            Others
            My partner

When I’m alone
I suffocate
I realize
            All the things I could do better
I judge
            Myself
I think
            About all the things that could be better

Wait a minute
I thought I was a positive person
I’m far more negative than I thought….
Aah shit, this makes me sad.
Am I one of those people that say bunches of shit, that ring really true and all, and sound very spiritual, but I allow myself not to live by those rules? But everyone else should? Okay, I’ve also learned about myself that I have the tendency to beat myself up over the head when I’m wrong. wrong wrong wrong

It’s time
            Time to practice what I preach
If I walk in forgiveness
            I truly forgive
If I walk in love
            I truly love unconditionally
If I live patiently
            I know how to wait
If I am willing
If I am able
If I am what I think I am
            I am Love
But really
            I’m a Control Freak
The two don’t go together
            Let go
            Release
            Let Be
            Embrace

Realization is 90% of the work, and it’s always proven true to me. When I realize something about myself, how I function, what I do, etc. then I can make a change. In this case: embracing imperfection.

Now I realize I’m by far not always as positive as I think I am.
Now I realize I’m a shitty partner sometimes.
Now I realize I’m not perfect.

Can I release the thoughts of having to be perfect all the time? I’m NOT. Listen Lieneke, you’re not. But you do have a huge heart, you want to help every dog you see on the street, you cry seeing your dancer perform a solo because you know she lives in a dangerous drug ridden favela, and you do what you can to bring light to her life. You give them a gift. The gift of dancing. You’re not a bad person, you’re just not perfect. And that’s okay. Be imperfectly perfect. Or perfectly imperfect. It is alright.

You Love Him.
He Loves You.

Open the door to move the shit out
And keep that door open to allow the beauty of life in



Letter From A Complicated Simplistic Romantic


As far as I can see…
There’s you
You
You
You
Vision reaches
There’s you
Hey
And there’s me too

Now there’s you and me
Me and you
And we’re together
Forever

The end.

Halfway Project, Time to Meet "The Cast"

Helloooo, time flies with this project. We're already half way. I figured it'd be time to meet "the cast." Enjoy the vlog: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sG9fEe1DJXg